Tag: Conflict

Jesus Has Power Over Demons

Jesus Has Power Over Demons

How does Jesus have power over demons? This is one of my many stories how Jesus displayed His power through me. Grab a mug of tea and read this slowly. Just for starters, the beginning of my story is rather plain. Or so I thought.

Beginning my Spiritual Journey

The Lord Jesus Christ saved me from the ultimate penalty of my sins on August 16, 1992 (one month before my Senior year in High School began). I placed my trust in Him while asking questions about heaven and eternal life at Grace Community Church in Ramona, CA. I remembered the date because that was the first day I had ever owned a Bible of my own. The Youth Pastor had me write the date in it so I wouldn’t forget.

One year later, I graduated from High School, and attended San Diego State University where I was pursuing an up-and-coming career in opera there and had many opportunities for fame and success in the world’s eyes. In order to save money while in college, my parents agreed for me to move out from my bedroom in their house into our attached garage. It had been converted into a private living space where my older sister and brother had previously made their separate bedrooms. Since they both moved away from home the year before, I knocked out the wall between the rooms and turn it into my own little studio apartment.

Read More Read More

Forgiveness Has Benefits?

Forgiveness Has Benefits?

Harnessing the Power of Forgiveness When You Feel Weak

Have you ever been hurt by the actions or words of someone else? Maybe your mother-in-law criticized your parenting skills, your co-worker sabotaged a project or your spouse had an affair. These wounds sting deep and can leave you feeling angry, bitter or even vengeful. Only one weapon has the power to cure both parties: the power of forgiveness.

Read More Read More

What Happened to Neil Schultz?

What Happened to Neil Schultz?

Hi. Remember me? Neil Schultz? Yes, it’s been months. There’s a story to tell here. I deeply missed you all. I missed the interactions over the phone, over Skype, over LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and email. I miss you. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with you all.

Three months ago, my family and I left the church where I served as Senior Pastor. It was not pretty. In fact, it was the result of a brutal four hour long business meeting which my wife and I were uninvited from. No defense. No voice. No opportunity to lead, love or even explain. No, there were no moral (or biblical) grounds for such treatment. No immoral internet accounts or inappropriate relationships. My preaching was solid. Relationally we tried as best we could to connect. Ultimately, it was not a good fit. Rather than get revenge or retaliate, I’ve discovered it best to take the moral high ground, forgive, and move forward with a limp as best we can. They have no idea of the damage done as a result of how hard their heated, aggressive, emotionally charged vote made our life this Summer.

Read More Read More

Dealing with Marital Conflict

Dealing with Marital Conflict

In every marriage, whether a ministry marriage or not, there are spiritual principles and practical applications to dealing with marital conflict. Although no marriage has ever been perfect since the Fall in Eden, having true peace, love and joy is possible even in the midst of all that ministry brings along with it. Ready for it?

Spiritual Principles

PermanenceMarriage in God’s eyes is meant to be permanent! (Mark 10:1-12, 1 Cor. 7:10-11)

Default Conflict StyleWe all experience conflict in our marriages and tend to either clam or explode. Neither of these ways of dealing with marital conflict reflect God’s way or working through conflict in love.

IF you’re a clammer, you need to learn not to keep a record of wrongs done (1  Cor. 13:5) and to not let the sun go down on your anger (Eph. 4:26).

IF you’re an exploder, you need to learn self-control, so you don’t speak words you’re going to regret later (Prov. 12:18; 14:17; 15:1).

AuthorityGod has established for our good and for His glory, a line of authority in the home with the husband being the leader of the home and the wife submitting to the authority of her husband. Wives–we are not submitting to God if we are not submitting to our husbands (or any other God given authority). Husbands–we are not submitting to God if we are not leading our wives in a loving manner.

Submission: Submitting to our husbands is part of what God uses to grow us up to be more like Jesus and should be done:

  1. Graciously (1 Peter 3:3-4)
  2. Respectfully (Ephesians 5:33)
  3. Without fear (1 Peter 3:6) because it is with faith, entrusting ourselves to God (1 Peter 2:23)
  4. As unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22)
  5. In order that the Word of God may not be dishonored (Titus 2:5)

Guard Your Heart: In dealing with marital conflict, we need to diligently guard our hearts from letting resentment and bitterness take hold in our marriage (Proverbs 4:23; 19:11; Ephesians 4:26)

One way we prevent resentment from creeping in is by surrendering our expectations to God in areas where our expectations cause conflict.

We are able to do this because we are looking to God to meet our deepest inner needs.

Agape Love: God calls husbands and wives to love each other with AGAPE LOVE–All Out, All-In (to us a Texas Hold-’em phrase), 100%, freely and fully, as a gift to God (1 Corinthians 13).

Win them Over: The purity and reverence of our lives can move our husbands towards believing the Word (1 Peter 3:1-2). This is tough on husbands who are church leaders, because when we don’t love our wives in certain areas, we are doubting God’s ways and wisdom related to dealing with marital conflict.

Practical Applications

ReflectWhen dealing with marital conflict with your husband or with your wife, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Am I submitting to the Lord’s ways for my marriage (wives: by submitting to my husband; husbands: by lovingly leading my wife)?
  2. Am I guarding my heart from resentment and bitterness?
  3. Am I loving my husband or wife with agape?
If your answer is no to any of these, cry out to the Lord and right the wrong. THEN, if you need to, go to your husband or wife as well. In dealing with marital conflict, you’ve got to remember to apologize WITHOUT explanations or ultimatums.
If your answer is yes to all three, then BE AT PEACE (you are doing all that God asks of you!) and pray for your spouse.
Discuss: It is not wrong for you to speak with your spouse about an issue in your marriage with which you are not at peace, but remember to:
  1. Do it graciously, not accusingly!
  2. Leave your expectations at the table (don’t increase expectations and resentment because now they have no excuse for not doing it your way!)
  3. Trust God to meet your needs and change the things only He can change in your spouse’s heart.
Forgive: When your spouse makes a mistake–and they will–FORGIVE HIM or HER (Matthew 18:21-35; Colossians 3:13).
Thanks to Cathy Nelson from Grace Community Church in Ramona, CA who provided much of the source material, from which this has been adapted.